Idle Musings

Religious donations

2012-02-01T06:30:00.000-05:00

As you may have guessed, I'm a bleeding-heart liberal so the GOP primaries are interesting to me only in as much as I'd like to know who Obama is running against. But their sound bites are pervasive, and I can't believe that we're taking any of these guys seriously. In fact the long election cycle, from where I'm sitting, is working against both front-runners in that we are learning way too much about them. To their detriment.
I find it curious that voters don't seem offended that Romney paid under 14% in taxes on his income last year. And that he had, until he began his run for the highest office in the land, a Swiss bank account. Which, really, we can accurately call an "offshore tax haven," not to mention his actual offshore holdings in the Cayman Islands. (All of which, declare a thousand poor schmucks who hasten to defend the Mittster on their laptops purchased with portions of their $70,000 annual salaries, is perfectly legal.)
Also, most of his much-touted charitable giving (about $2 million a year for the last two years) was to the Mormon church. For a guy to spend so much money on his church and never talk about it is kinda odd. And why isn't anyone asking about it? There were a million questions a day about President Obama's religious beliefs during the last election. There are even some Faux News kool aid drinkers who still think he's a Muslim.
Why has not one journalist asked, "You gave $2 million to the Church of Latter Day Saints last year indicating to me that your religion is important to you; why do you never speak about it?"
Or as I would say, "WTF, Mitt!? You couldn't find a better place to put 2 million bucks? Next time you want some extra pairs of magic underpants, let me know. I could use the cash. Or how about just chucking it out your SUV window and letting it 'trickle down'?" Of course that would be offensive, which is why I'm not a journalist. That, and I can't write for shit.

Color waves

2012-01-31T06:30:00.000-05:00

I'm sleepy, late, and decidedly uncreative, so I'm turning into and aggregator (sounds painful!).
Here is a really cool video of the most recent Aurora Borealis. It's more impressive than usual because of the recent solar storm. And because it's Norway!

Snow Globe Snow

2012-01-30T06:30:00.000-05:00

This weekend, twice in two days we had what I like to call snowglobe snow. Big fluffy flakes that swirl and dance as they come down. When I posted my observation on Facebook, (not a very exciting status update, I know) my friend posted a link naming one of her ancestors as the inventor of the snow globe!
So today, for Kim, we honor Edwin Perzy. If you're ever in Vienna, check out the snow globe museum that was created from his old workshop. While the French contend that they truly invented the idea, no one can dispute that the Perzy family ran with it.

Friday Book Blogging

2012-01-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

Since I skipped last week's to bring you the alarming news of Squirrel Appreciation Day (mark your 2013 calendars now, folks!) I'm adding last week's three to this week's three for a humiliating total of six books in 14 days.
The clear winner is Charles Todd's A Lonely Death. Inspector Ian Rutledge is back with his WWI ghosts and his indefatigable sense of justice. The Inspector Rutledge novels are always more than the sum of their parts. The murder investigation is completely secondary to the interplay of the characters and the story of Ian himself as he struggles with his shell shock, survivor's guilt, love, death, and police politics.
I'm a big fan of this mother-son author team, as evidenced by how many times they have made the Friday Book Blog.

Your favorite bodily functions

2012-01-26T06:30:00.000-05:00

There is a persistent myth that men think about sex constantly. In fact, according to this study, men think about sex about as often as they think about food or sleep.
Although, as they point out, "[t]he data also doesn't show whether an individual thought is a one-second passing notion or a full-on 10-minute sexual fantasy." And I don't know if the study covered food used in sexual activity as a 'food' thought or a 'sex' thought or both.
I'm not sure about the researchers, but the conclusion I draw is that men will be just as happy with a Big Mac as they will with a blow job.

What is the state of our Union?

2012-01-25T06:30:00.000-05:00

SOTU

Obama was in full campaign mode last night. Based on the word clouds, both parties like America and Americans but the Republicans were the party of big government.


Republican response

Your luck will be either good or bad.

2012-01-24T06:30:00.000-05:00

Chinese consider that the dragon is unpredictable, untouchable and people cannot see its head and tail at the same time. Therefore, we can might [sic] see something unexpected happening in 2012. Also a person with too many dragons in the Chinese astrology birth chart will become smarter, sly and unpredictable in the coming year.
[...]
That's another sign of unpredictable Dragon year. You can have either good luck or bad luck in 2012, and will have a chance to turn it into better or worse luck.

Happy Lunar New Year! Gong Hei Fat Choi! And don't forget, Chinese New Year's Day was yesterday, but the new year doesn't start until February 4. It gives you more time to get the resolutions in order.

Rest in Peace

2012-01-23T06:30:00.000-05:00

Sunday, January 22, 2012 by G. Brunner

Following Friday's post of the profane, we are beginning the week with the sacred. On Sunday we walked some of the 196 acres that make up the Mount Hope Cemetery in Rochester, NY. The terrain is hilly and wooded and the graves are situated in such a way to make it look almost haphazard. Under a layer of snow on a clear winter day, it was beautiful. We paid homage to Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass as well as others whose names are not so well-known.

photo taken November 2011 by D. Brunner

NOT Friday Book Blogging

2012-01-20T06:30:00.000-05:00

I am taking the unprecedented step of skipping a regular Friday Book Blog to warn you all of an impending attack. Squirrel-Qaeda has infiltrated our government at the highest levels and has established, tomorrow, January 21, as "Squirrel Appreciation Day." *gasp*
These ruthless rodents want you to appreciate them. This is just another insidious attempt to lull us into believing that their fuzzy tails and bright button-eyes are not hiding a destructive force. Don't let them fool you into becoming a sympathizer. With the new National Defense Authorization Act in place, even feeding this menace could land you in jail indefinitely. Beware. The cute covers up a multitude of sins.

Borrowing from the German

2012-01-19T06:30:00.000-05:00

From last month's list of outstanding words on Mental_floss, I am selecting kummerspeck for inclusion into my 2012 vocabulary.
From the German Kummer (“grief”) and Speck (“bacon”). Kummerspeck (n) Excess weight gained due to emotion-caused overeating.

My sister's kummerspeck provides me schadenfreude.

I bow to German superiority in wordsmithing.

SOPA

2012-01-18T06:30:00.000-05:00

I'm at loose ends today because my very favorite lunch pastime is unavailable to me today. I can't troll Wikipedia because of a 24 hour blackout. "The blackout is a protest against proposed legislation in the United States – the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the U.S. House of Representatives, and the PROTECT IP Act (PIPA) in the U.S. Senate – that, if passed, would seriously damage the free and open Internet, including Wikipedia"
I understand the concern because while appropriating copyrighted materials is common and relatively easy on the Internet, the two proposed laws are nearly medieval in their approach to curtailing copyright infringement. The most important and amazing thing about the Internet is its freedom. Freedom of choice. Freedom of speech. Freedom of access. The Internet needs to remain free. It's the only way to spread freedom.

So, while I applaud the stand against these bills that will drastically impact Internet freedom in a negative way, I am seriously bummed that I can't read all about

January 18: Royal Thai Armed Forces Day (Thailand, 1591); the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity begins
1126 – Emperor Huizong of the Song Dynasty of China abdicated the throne in favor of his son Qinzong.
1884 – Welsh physician William Price was arrested for attempting to cremate his deceased infant son; he was acquitted in the subsequent trial, which led to the legalization of cremation in the United Kingdom.
1919 – World War I: The Paris Peace Conference opened in Versailles, France, to set the peace terms for the Central Powers.
1943 – World War II: As part of Operation Iskra, the Soviet Red Army broke the Siege of Leningrad, opening a narrow land corridor to the city.
1958 – African Canadian Willie O'Ree of the Boston Bruins played his first game in the National Hockey League, breaking the colour barrier in professional ice hockey.
1990 – In a sting operation conducted by the FBI, Mayor of Washington, D.C., Marion Barry was arrested for possession of crack cocaine.

Help wanted

2012-01-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

Our OCD, highly-allergic, pathetically-hairless dog needs a place to stay this weekend. Any takers?

Race card

2012-01-16T06:30:00.000-05:00

Since it is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I feel today's post ought to have something to do with racism. Unfortunately, since I grew up in a remarkably insular suburban community and graduated high school being exposed to exactly two African-American people, (Our high school also boasted at least seven Asian-Americans and possibly a Jew!) I have absolutely no authority to speak on the subject.
I can say that I'm fairly certain it still exists and was not eradicated with the election of our first black president, despite what the pundits over at Fox News avow.
I can also say that the urge to cross the street when I see a group of teenagers with sagging pants and backwards baseball caps has nothing to do with the color of their skin but with the perceived content of their characters. I wonder if that is what MLK, Jr had in mind when he declared that famous line.

Friday Book Blogging

2012-01-13T06:30:00.000-05:00

Just four books this week. I ought to choose Colm Toibin's critically acclaimed Brooklyn, but Eilis is just so pliantly indecisive that I wanted to smack her from page 10 onward.
However, reinforcing your suspicions of my low-brow tastes, I'm choosing The Winning Hand by Nora Roberts. I just recently discovered Roberts' MacGregor series and I like all of them (so far). Pure fluff with a charming Scotsman overseeing the whole.

Slim pickin's

2012-01-12T06:30:00.000-05:00

What does it say about the GOP field that Mitt Romney is the best they can do? Really?

A trust fund baby who seems to believe he's just an "average guy," who spent his much-vaunted time in the private sector taking over companies for the sole purpose of turning a profit in their dismantling and making millions while laying-off thousands of American workers.
A man who has upheld every single position in the Republican platform right after he held every position against them.
A politician who has all the charisma of a deflated balloon and speaks with only slightly more emotion than a coma victim.

This is the best they have? No wonder they have spent so much time searching out the Not-mitt.

gorge ous

2012-01-11T06:30:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the Grand Canyon! Well, not the canyon itself, but the National Park encompassing the canyon and making it a protected space. (The canyon is much older than the park's 100+ years.) Actually, the park was a "Monument" before graduating to Park-dom. Technically, this is the anniversary of its Monument status.
And in a lesson in politics, please note, the inability to accomplish anything is not something new for our legislators. The first bill to create Grand Canyon National Park was introduced in 1882. President Benjamin Harrison established the Grand Canyon Forest Reserve in 1893. President Theodore Roosevelt proclaimed it the Grand Canyon Game Preserve in 1906. then Grand Canyon National Monument in 1908. The Grand Canyon National Park Act was finally signed by President Woodrow Wilson in 1919. From the time someone (Benjamin Harrison) suggested it, to the time it became a law, 37 years passed. Fortunately the canyon barely noticed.

Everyone who sees the canyon is awed by the enormity. This is a powerful representation of what nature can do. In my 9th grade geology class we had to memorize the layers of rock visible in the walls of the canyon. There are something like 13 of them. Without cheating, I can remember one: Bright Angel Shale. Not very impressive, although, in my defense, 9th grade was a long time ago.

Update: How cool is it that I post about the Grand Canyon's rock layers on the father of modern geology, Nicholas Steno's birthday? (Thank you for the tip, Google Doodle.)

Wow.

2012-01-10T06:30:00.000-05:00

The National Geographic 2011 Photo Contest winners are in. Some really cool shots:

Grand Prize winner by Shikhei Goh

Losers

2012-01-09T06:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the playoffs were difficult for a Browns fan. We found ourselves in the position of rooting for one of two teams for whom we have a deep-seated hatred as only sports can nurture. The Steelers have been rivals since the two teams took the field. And as comedian Mike Polk points out, it's a relatively lopsided rivalry.
On the other hand, the Broncos are the cause of THE FUMBLE. It may seem absurd to you that we Browns fans still remember a single event in a single game nearly 25 years ago, but that's what being a Browns fan is about.
It's about knowing that your team has not won a championship since 1963 and never a Superbowl, but cheering them on in the freezing stadium. It's about rooting for your team every year despite the fact that the win-loss record is nearly guaranteed to be under .500.
So given a choice between the two, for a Browns fan, I just focus on the fact that Pittsburgh lost.

Friday Book Blogging

2012-01-06T06:30:00.000-05:00

I certainly hope this week's reading is not an indication of how the year is going to go. I did get a lot accomplished around the house, but very little between the covers. Of the paltry three books I read, the top honors go to Jill Paton Walsh's The Attenbury Emeralds.
Walsh, with the permission of the Dorothy L. Sayers estate, has created a new Lord Peter Wimsey mystery. She does passably well at the story itself, but the narration and dialog leave more than a bit to be desired. I had previously read Thrones, Dominations and enjoyed it. This was not as well done. However, the other two that I read were worse, so, the re-invented Lord Peter gets the nod. If you are a rabid Wimsey fan, pass it by, but if you like the characters and time period, give it a try.

Fishy

2012-01-05T06:30:00.000-05:00


Photo/Jan Petter Jørgensen

Tens of thousands (according to the news story, 20 tons!) of herring washed ashore on a northern Norwegian beach on New Year's Eve. "The fish appeared on New Year's Eve, and it was speculated that predators might have driven a huge school ashore or the fish could have been washed onto the beach by a powerful storm that hit Norway on Christmas Day."
On New Year's Day, they were gone. Jens Christian Holst of Norway's Institute of Marine Research says the herrings have likely washed back into the North Sea.

I say they ate 'em. Herring is traditionally eaten for good luck on New Year's Eve in Norway. (This may also explain why I never seem to have any good luck.)

Mountain Dew: mouse flavor

2012-01-04T06:30:00.000-05:00

Ronald Ball claims to have found a dead mouse in his can of Mountain Dew after he drank some. Ewwwww!!
Pepsi says he's making it up. As proof, Pepsi has expert testimony that "the mouse would have dissolved in the soda had it been in the can from the time of its bottling until the day the plaintiff drank it."

Which now begs the question, how many mice have dissolved in Mountain Dew?

A run-down for the Iowa caucus

2012-01-03T06:30:00.000-05:00

Is it just me, or are the Republican candidates for president all losers?

Romney is like a cross between the robotically pedantic John Kerry and a smarmy used-car salesman: "Did I say I sold jobs? I mean cars! I sell CARS! You must have completely misheard me. You see, when I was at Bain Capital... "
Ron Paul can't decide if he's racist, sexist or senile. Right now, he's shooting for all three. He is so completely Randian, that he NAMED HIS SON RAND after the sociopathic misanthrope who's basic life philosophy was "I got mine; screw the rest of you." The nicest thing you can say about Ron Paul is that he is completely consistent. He has been voting "screw you" since he was elected.
Newt is as slimy as the amphibian which shares his name harkening back to the televangelists of the 80s who spent half their air time repenting and half their lives sinning, which I don't mind so much in a president as long as he's not a hypocrite about it. Gingrich is the definition of hypocrite.
Santorum's smug self-righteousness is amusing if you think of him as a kook; as soon as you imagine a potential Santorum presidency, you won't be able to sleep at night. (Although really, the same goes for Paul.) Just yesterday he said that he wants to stop giving black people "other people's [read: white people's] money," because, you know, that's not really helping. He wants to legalize his hatred of gay people because, you know, they have butt sex. How much do you want to bet me that Mrs. Santorum doesn't even undress for their monthly procreation copulation?
Rick Perry is a comedian's dream, much like the previous Texas governor who ran for president, but this time no one is telling the man to shut up until after the election so fortunately (unfortunately?) we know in advance how stupid he is.
Michelle Bachmann still has the crazy coming out of her eyes. Must have been all that time home-schooling her 275 foster kids. God help us, they all think that George Washington was against slavery, but slavery was good for black people.
There's also that other Mormon, Jon Huntsman. He doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell, poor guy. You know this because no one is talking about him.

Happy, healthy, prosperous new year wishes

2012-01-02T06:30:00.000-05:00

I originally had pretensions to grandeur regarding this blog post. My thinking being, "I will begin the year with an astonishingly witty and poignant post to set the tone for the year." Then reality set in, and I'm just going to stick with what I know.
Generally Mondays tend to be a little more introspective. (Maybe it's all the navel-gazing at the weekend.) Today's primary adventure will be the dismantling of Christmas. I love the decorations at Christmas for about a week. Usually, by the time Christmas actually arrives, I am so sick of the gewgaws and sparkles that I could choke on the tinsel. Once Punkinhead moves out, the tree will go up on December 23rd and come down on the 30th.
The big celebration this year was with good friends at a restaurant for a 5 course tasting. By the time we finished, it was too late to get home for the big moment, so we opted to stay. We kinda crashed the staff's celebration, but they were very nice about it. I'm hoping that the new year continues in the same vein: good food, great friends, laughter, joy.
And I hope for the same for all of you.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-12-30T06:30:00.000-05:00

This week I consumed a tepid five books, most of which were under 200 pages. Still... my favorite was Kerry Greenwood's A Question of Death. This is a collection of short stories featuring one of my favorite characters for light reading, Phryne Fisher.
Quite frankly, I will read anything that features Miss Fisher. She is one of the fictional characters who is always welcome. And the time period (1920s and 1930s) is one that I enjoy (which is good since there are so many books set in that era). If you're taking up with Phryne for the first time, try her in this, or her first full-length adventure, Cocaine Blues. It's a great introduction to the quintessential Aussie flapper.

It's our turn to clean the manger!

2011-12-29T06:30:00.000-05:00

The true meaning of Christmas:

The annual cleaning of one of Christianity's holiest churches deteriorated into a brawl between rival clergy Wednesday, as dozens of monks feuding over sacred space at the Church of the Nativity battled each other with brooms until police intervened.

lol

Bad Science

2011-12-28T06:30:00.000-05:00

The Sense About Science campaign released its annual list of celebrity offenses against science.
Included are Michelle Bachmann's ridiculous rumor-mongering about the HPV vaccine and Snooki's allegation that the ocean is salty due to all the whale sperm. (How many whales does she think there are in the oceans?)

My personal favorite is the Christian Louboutin theory that putting on high heels is akin to a sexual experience. To which Kevan Wylie, a consultant in sexual medicine, responded, "A woman's foot may be in this position during orgasm, but that does not mean that putting her foot into this position under other circumstances will result in orgasm,"

So those six-inch heels will NOT get me off. Bummer.

Airport insecurity

2011-12-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

In Argentina, a suitcase with over 200 live animals, including poisonous snakes, is considered dangerous and is confiscated by airport security. In Las Vegas, a small container with a single cupcake is considered a potential risk and is confiscated by airport security.
Both flights arrived at their destinations without incident.

Yay!!

2011-12-26T06:30:00.000-05:00

Once Punkinhead stopped believing in Santa, Christmas for me became a holiday about family and food. The traditional meals, dishes, and cookies prepared for an hilarious family get-together was the most important part of the celebration for me. The gifts are fun to get, but it's always been more fun to see what everyone else receives.
However, this year I got a new laptop to replace the ancient Toshiba that had been limping along on its last byte. In order to just write a blog post, the old computer usually required at least one reboot and a good 15 minutes of time to just load the link(s). I hope you all appreciated every last one of those links! :^)
This machine is so startlingly fast, comparatively speaking, that I can't stop feeling giddy every time I click on anything. It's been a really long time since I've been giddy at Christmas. I like it.
So, while Christmas is still about sharing food and laughter with family, this year it's also about a really cool present for me!! And being giddy.

HAPPY HOLIDAY!

2011-12-24T13:23:00.000-05:00

It's easy to forget (if you don't watch Faux News) that not everyone celebrates Christmas at this time of year. It seems ubiquitous, especially here in Ohio. It's certainly taken over the Punkinhouse.
So if you do celebrate the Christian co-opting of pagan solstice rituals, then MERRY CHRISTMAS!

And for everyone (believers and non) I wish you all the joy of this holiday without all the ribbons, tags, packages, boxes, or bags. Joy is a gift you can always return.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-12-23T06:30:00.000-05:00

Two and a half years ago I chose a Ruth Rendell book as my pick of the week. This week, in a small field of four, she wins the title again. Unfortunately not because it was that great, but because the others were truly mediocre.
Rendell's Not In the Flesh was so predictable that I found myself yelling at Inspector Wexford. On the other hand, by virtue of the fact that I wanted to yell at him, the characters are vividly drawn. The mystery itself was a disappointment, but the writing really deserves the accolades she has won.
This was the first time I read a Wexford mystery. I have already borrowed another in the hopes that it is harder to solve, but just as well-written.

For your holiday amusement

2011-12-22T06:30:00.000-05:00

Jingle the Elf and Dick Morris: eerily similar.

Wrap it up

2011-12-21T06:30:00.000-05:00

A long time ago, I was really good at wrapping gifts. Perfect creases. Exact corners. Even ends. Beautifully curled ribbons.

Now I consider it an accomplishment to actually cover the gift with paper, tape the edges and slap a bow on.

The sad part of this is that years ago, I had less time than I do now. So I can blame my deteriorating packaging skills on nothing more than laziness.

Just ignore that

2011-12-20T06:30:00.000-05:00

Live Science provides us with this intriguing headline: Democracy May Depend on the Ignorant
Unfortunately, as the story goes on to describe the study in question, we learn that ignorance is only helpful in schools of fish.

The scientists stressed that the results of the study cannot be extrapolated to decision-making in human groups. [University of Washington evolutionary biologist] Bergstrom explained that opinionated individuals in the models could not spend extra time lobbying the others and couldn't make false claims about an option, as humans can.

It's those damn lobbyists again. And please note, fish are better at democracy than humans.

Dead leader

2011-12-19T06:30:00.000-05:00

North Korea's Dear Leader, Kim Jung-il died on Saturday and the country was nice enough to tell us yesterday. You know, so we can be sure to attend the funeral and all. His successor will most likely be his son Kim Jong-un. This effect of this news primarily is to bring out a large number of links mocking Kim Jung-il and/or Kim Jong-un. (Some of them are even true!) So you can kinda understand their reluctance to let us know.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-12-16T06:30:00.000-05:00

I'm following up last week's impressive six books with a paltry three this week. Top honors go to Stephanie Barron's Jane and the Canterbury Tale. This is the most recent in a series of cozy mysteries solved by none other than Jane Austen. It's fun and light, not taking itself too seriously. And a must for Jane Austen fans.

Cheat

2011-12-15T06:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, so my head is still totally full of mucus and I'm copping out on a real post today. Here is a really cool link to some pictures of shadow art. Unbelievable shadow art.

Ahhh-choo

2011-12-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

I know this falls under the category: Too Much Information, but how is it possible for my head to produce a volume of phlegm that is exponentially larger than my entire body?
I suppose one must be phlegmatic about it.

Politics and bedfellows

2011-12-13T06:30:00.000-05:00

Newt Gingrich takes his fourth "no adultery" pledge.

(Apparently the first three were non-binding.)

Moon glow

2011-12-12T06:30:00.000-05:00

It was big and beautiful, glowing an unusual rusty shade, but a lunar eclipse will never rival a solar eclipse.
The first one I saw, I had expected the astonishing "lifesaver" appearance that defines a full solar eclipse and was mightily disappointed when all that happened was the deep orange/red coloring.
Not that it wasn't unusual and stunning, it just fell far short of my out-of-proportion expectations. This time, I knew what to expect and I have to admit that Sunday's moon was much more impressive.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-12-09T06:30:00.000-05:00

Despite the fact that I read six books this week, I am having a tough time picking a winner, not because the competition is stiff, but because the competition is pathetic. I'm going to settle on Anne Perry's A Christmas Guest for two reasons. It's the holidays and a re-imagining of Dicken's A Christmas Carol is mandatory. Also, the Scrooge-like character is an old woman and I'm a fan of crotchety old women.

Books from the pile worth noting:
Scandalous Women by Elizabeth Kerri Mahon is a trading-card snippet of information about some of the most powerful (and scandalous) women to have lived (from a decidedly American viewpoint) written in an atrociously chummy pop culture prose that would be more appropriate to a blog than a book.
The Big Four by Agatha Christie is a (I can't believe I'm saying this) failure to turn Hercule Poirot into an action hero/spy. Christie was a genius with a "cozy," but this attempt to be John LeCarre or Ian Flemming falls far short.
Finally, in The Good Thief's Guide to Venice, Chris Ewan tries too hard. His Guide to Vegas had a distinctly Oceans Eleven feel which was light and fun, but fast-paced without being too ridiculous. (There's always something over-the-top.) Venice, on the other hand, feels forced all the way through, not least because his main character spends so much time obsessing about writing his novel.

Menthol

2011-12-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

Today's post expresses my heartfelt thanks to Lunsford Richardson and his magnificent invention: Vick's VapoRub.

And, yes, I even put some on my feet. (It can't hurt!)

I wish I had a million dollars

2011-12-07T06:30:00.000-05:00

When Punkinhead was a little girl and we were at a store, we would often re-enact a typical scene in the checkout aisle:
Punkin: "Mommy, I want ______ [fill in the blank with your choice of gum, candy, pez dispenser, chapstick, shoelaces, any odd item located in the check-out to appeal to small children]!"
Me: "How does it feel to want?"
In the beginning, there ensued a bit of a whiny wheedling, but she quickly learned that when Big Mean Mommy said "no," Big Mean Mommy ALWAYS meant "NO." By the time she was four, she would put forth the "Mommy, I want gum. Pleeeeeeeese." And if I said no, it was pretty much the end of it. But usually my response was either the above quoted, "How does it feel to want?" or "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." (Both of which amount to the same, no, but are slightly more poetic.)
Yesterday, I used the "If wishes were horses" line at work and my adult coworkers looked at me as if I were odd (which, in their defense, I am). Not one of them was familiar with the proverb that Wikipedia says has been around in some form since before 1600 and in its modern version noted here since 1721. 290 years is a pretty decent run for a proverb about how wishing for something does not make it so.

Dish swap

2011-12-06T06:30:00.000-05:00

I have discovered a minor obsession with dishware. Fortunately this house is too small to accommodate it.
Porcelain (or China, named for its country of origin) has been in existence since the 1st century. This Christmas porcelain dishware is available in hundreds of varieties. I want them all.
In October, I read a story of about a costume swap, where parents bring their child's previous year's costume and trade it for a "like new" one to use in the current year. I wonder if this is possible with Christmas dinnerware.

Gift giving by cats

2011-12-05T10:28:00.001-05:00

In one of the quaintly odd coincidences in life, yesterday's door in the advent calendar opened to reveal a cute gray mouse remarkably similar to the one the cat brought to me earlier that morning.

Although the one the cat brought me was dead.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-12-02T06:30:00.000-05:00

This week I only read two books. The one I'm recommending is The Women of the Cousins' War a history about three of the prominent females during England's War of the Roses. The book was written by three people, each of whom devoted their third of the book to one particular woman. I almost didn't borrow this book based on the fact that the dominant author was listed as Philippa Gregory who is known for her nearly soap opera retellings of the lives of historical women. I very much enjoyed her novel The Other Boleyn Girl, but one or two others failed to impress me. Despite this, I know that writing good historical fiction requires a knowledge of history, so I decided to give the book a try.
I almost put it down again after getting 5 pages into the introduction in which Gregory defends "speculation" in writing non-fiction. However, I plowed on.
The writing isn't phenomenal, but the women whose stories are told were astonishing. Gregory begins with the Duchess of Burgundy, Jacquetta of whom I (trivial history buff) had never heard. David Baldwin highlights the life of Jaquetta's daughter, Elizabeth Woodville who grew up to marry a king and give birth to the "Princes in the Tower." And one of the most remarkable women in history, Margaret Beaufort sketched by Michael Jones. Beaufort gave birth, at the age of 13 (and already a widow) to the future king Henry VII, the first Tudor king and father to the most famous (or infamous) king of England, Henry VIII.
All three of these women suffered hardships and heartbreaks that are unfathomable in this modern era. At a time when the king was nearly a god but couldn't hold onto a throne, political turmoil, death, prison, treason, exile were all endured and overcome.

A lament

2011-12-01T06:30:00.000-05:00

I haven't commented recently on politics because it seemed a bit unfair to pile on the much-maligned, unfathomably pathetic crop of contenders for the GOP nomination. In addition, my current frustration levels with Congress preclude me from spending over 10 minutes per week thinking about them lest it adversely affect my health.
Perhaps due to this self-induced politics bubble, perhaps due to the overabundance of Occupy coverage, I somehow got the impression that we, the public, were getting a little more politically savvy. Or at least better informed. More intelligent? Less ignorant?

Silly me.

All I needed to jerk me back to reality was video from any Walmart on Black Friday. These people vote. These people, who will spend four and a half hours waiting in line and risk their safety to buy a television that they don't need with money they don't have just because it's a really good deal, complain about the government's debt (without irony!). These people who are disgusted that our economy has not recovered from the worst crash in 70 years after only three years of intensely partisan backbiting, represent the epitome of instant gratification and American avarice.
And yes, if they aren't too lazy to get off the couch where they are sitting while they watch that TV they didn't need that they are still paying for, next November, these people might even vote.

Nuts

2011-11-30T06:30:00.000-05:00

We have wooden nutcrackers on our mantle and our tree at Christmas, probably as a nod to the German origins of our fathers and the Tschaikovsky ballet. I always want to stick a nut in them and see if they really work. I'm guessing not, although at one time, they could.

Standing wooden nutcrackers in the form of soldiers and kings were shown in the Sonneberg and Erzgebirge regions of Germany by 1800 and in 1830, the term “Nussknacker” appeared in the dictionary of the Brothers Grim. It was defined as “often in the form of a misshaped little man, in whose mouth the nut, by means of a leaver or screw, is cracked open”.

The Leavenworth Nutcracker Museum is an invaluable source for nutcracking history. I especially love their website's closing line, "A study of nutcrackers is a study of history itself as they reflect the cultural values and innovations of the place and time of origin." Because when you think of cultural values and innovations, you of course think of cracking nuts.

How do you seize a website?

2011-11-29T06:30:00.000-05:00

This site is the real thing. Do you know how you can tell?
The Feds did not seize it in their crackdown.

"Feds seize 150 websites in counterfeit crackdown"

O Christmas tree

2011-11-28T06:30:00.000-05:00

Every year since the Punkinhead turned 2 (longer ago than I care to admit) we have spent one day of the Thanksgiving holiday (decidedly NOT black Friday) at the local garden centers marvelling at their trees. Way back then, the trees were decorated in themes and always over-the-top stuff. Once there was a firefighter tree with dalmation, fire hat, and fire truck ornaments, a "hose" garland, and a real fire hat for a tree topper. The Caribbean mermaid tree is a perennial favorite with fishes and sea creatures in addition to the mer-people all in purples, teals, and blues. Mostly the trees are decorated within an inch of their (artificial) lives with a selection of ornaments and other doodads, much of which the average person would never imagine putting on a tree.
If the garden centers are to be believed, this year's hot trend is woodsy-themed trees with many owls. It was a "hot trend" last year too, so maybe they just have ornaments to unload. Also noted: LOTS of glitter/sparkle ornaments. Maybe they have pre-teen girls designing the trees this year.
At any rate, part of the tradition holds that Punkinhead can choose any ONE ornament for the tree and when she moves away and has her own tree, she gets to take all her carefully selected annual ornaments. There's an automatic 20+ for the future Punkintree. There were a few years that I questioned this decision as we hung pastel merry-go-round horses and glittering reindeer from the branches of the tree, but on the whole she's done pretty well.
Now I look at the tree and think, "When Punkinhead moves out, we're going to have to get a BUNCH of ornaments. The tree will be bare!"

Friday Book Blogging

2011-11-26T16:02:00.001-05:00

I read four books this week and then promptly forgot it was Friday yesterday. These holidays really screw with my sense of time. Anyway, most of what I read was truly unpleasant, notably, The Family Fang, which sounded endearingly quirky in the jacket notes but ended up being disturbingly bizarre. The best of a meager bunch was the second in the Holmes on the Range series featuring Gustav and Otto Amlingmeyer and their foray into detecting. On the Wrong Track by Steve Hockensmith was fun and entertaining, but a bit over the top. Still, if you don't demand much, you will enjoy it.

To be thankful

2011-11-24T10:39:00.001-05:00

Since 2006, my friend Jim over at The Velvet Blog has been under the delusion that his grandmother's stuffing is better than my grandmother's stuffing. (He is, of course, wrong.)

Today, I am thankful that this is the biggest source of conflict in my life.

We be jammin'

2011-11-23T06:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Wilhelm Friedmann Bach's (the eldest son of the famous Johann Sebastian Bach) birthday. He is regarded a genius at the organ, playing, improvising and composing. (I know this is true because I read it on Wikipedia.) That, however is not the point of this post. That is just the engine. Let's get to the caboose.

What was "improvising" on an organ in the early- to mid-1700s? Did he riff off the main theme of a hymn in the middle of Mass? Did he get together with a few violinists and a French horn player and have jam sessions? If he did, did they call them "jam sessions"?
Turns out the only question I can definitively answer is the last: No.
Which brings us to the caboose: the term 'jam session' originates in America in 1933 in reference to jazz.

Skip Black Friday

2011-11-22T06:30:00.000-05:00

Continuing on the theme of shopping (do I need a new label?), there was a blurb on the news about people who had already pitched tents at the local Best Buy. Really? Because saving $100 on a 40" flat screen is worth sleeping outside in 30° weather for FOUR NIGHTS? Really?
They are conveniently opening at midnight on Thursday/Friday morning. So are other cracked retailers. Do we really need to bargain shop at 1 a.m. on Black Friday? Think of the poor employees who have to haul their butts into work after barely digesting the big family dinner so you can get a deal on a cordless drill. There is NO REASON to keep setting this "early bird special" bar further and further back. The crazies were fine with 7 a.m. Then some executive somewhere said, "If 7's good, 6 would be even better!" And so we go.
If no one shows up, they will stop the insanity. Please.

Penny pinching

2011-11-21T06:30:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who calls herself "bargain Betty," and she is. She can sniff out a 75%-off sale from half a mile away. She prides herself on never paying full price. She is cute and petite and has about 150 tops in her closet all of which she found on sale.
But here's the thing that I don't get. I buy stuff on sale too, but more importantly, I don't buy stuff just because it's on sale. I have about 20 tops in my closet. Not a lot, but sufficient unto my needs. If I see a $30 sweater at the store marked down to $5, I don't see it as a savings of $25. I see it as spending $5. Unnecessarily.
So my friend has a lot of clothes and I don't. But to my thinking, I'm the one who's more thrifty.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-11-18T06:30:00.000-05:00

I finished off five books this week and am having a difficult time deciding if the top pick should be the second Chris Grabenstein, Mad Mouse, or the fifth Charles Finch, A Burial at Sea. I liked them both quite a bit. However I posted about Mr. Grabenstein just last month, and I haven't given a hat tip to Mr. Finch since 2009. So A Burial at Sea wins.
This Victorian-era mystery takes place (as you might guess) on a ship and so is a classic "closed room" mystery. I confess I did not guess the answer which, based on the number of mysteries I read, is the sign of a well-plotted book. Especially considering that the main character, Charles Lennox, does not pull clues out of his ass in an "a-HA!" moment at the resolution. You are kindly provided with all the information to solve the mystery on your own.

Photoshop

2011-11-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

I can see the new Benetton ads pissing some people off. The hate-filled zealots were never going to like them. (A lesson that our president should learn) So why not have some fun?

I wasn't offended, but, frankly, my first thought on seeing the one of Barack Obama and Hu Jintao? "I thought Obama was taller than Hu."

Tumblr-esque

2011-11-16T06:30:00.000-05:00

At the risk of doing something completely trendy and cool, I'm reposting just like the kids do now with the Tumblr. (God, I feel old just typing that sentence even with a tongue in my cheek!)
Anyway, I am LOVING the photos submitted for the National Geographic Magazine 2011 Photo Contest and, as Mental_Floss will direct you to the site with all the submissions, they were also kind enough to single out some phenomenal shots. Therefore, I'm taking advantage of their industry and sending you there for a quick glimpse (and you can follow their link to NGM for the whole gallery).
These are some stunning shots.

cephalopods

2011-11-15T06:30:00.000-05:00

Scientists have discovered an octopus and a squid that can go from their usual everyday transparency to reddish camouflage in under a second.
Like being see-through isn't cool enough.

Every day

2011-11-14T09:59:00.001-05:00

Way back in 2006 (1825 days seems like a long time!) I made a mental promise to write a blog post every weekday. (That has added up to over 1600 posts in those aforementioned 1825 days.) Some days I have a decent amount to say on a vaguely relevant topic. Some days I have nothing to say and just share a picture or quote (how Tumblr-esque of me). Some days I want to post two or three times.
I have a reputation for reliability to maintain. I may not do impressive work, but by god, I do it every day!

Today is an introspective day. It's gray and rainy. The leaves have fallen from the trees. It looks like autumn outside, which as the poets will tell you, is time to think about death. Or something. Oddly, this weather makes me think of two things.
One, bad poetry. For obvious reasons.
And two, Sesame Street. I don't know why. Probably it's because I only got to watch TV when it was raining. Otherwise, we were outside playing.
So for the first (and hopefully last) time ever, we will combine the two: BAD SESAME STREET POETRY!

Cold November rain
TV on Kermit, Grover
Snuffleupagus

Please feel free to add your own. And the haiku format is not mandatory. :)

Friday Book Blogging

2011-11-11T06:30:00.000-05:00

This week's book is a bit of a departure for me. The jacket includes a blurb defining it as a "puzzle novel" and that, I found is a very apt description. Elena Mauli Shapiro has constructed a picture story around a real-life box of artifacts claimed from the apartment of an elderly neighbor upon her death.
These keepsakes and the woman they belonged to, Louise Brunet, were real. The fanciful story of her mundane but fascinating life as told by Shapiro in 13, rue Thérèse are spun from imagination and speculation. What struck me about the book primarily was the way it haunts. The wisps of history give it just enough heft to be visible but still ghostly.
Also striking, oddly, is how incidental Louise Brunet is to the book. The people in her life and pivotal moments feature prominently, but on the whole, Louise is extraordinarily ordinary. The book follows Trevor Stratton, a visiting American professor and the devious secretary who plants the box in his office with the hope that he'll be consumed by the hunt.
Normally I wouldn't be choosing a ghost story/puzzle novel/picture book as a pick of the week, but despite some misguided attempts at poetic prose, 13, rue Thérèse pulls you into the story of Louise and Paris between the Wars and the fevers of Trevor, and the intertwining of the three.

How old is "old" in computer years?

2011-11-10T07:06:00.003-05:00

You know it's time to get a new computer when surfing a few websites, updating Facebook, and posting a blog take over six hours. Not because of distractions but because it is taking, on average 2.5 minutes for a page to load. It's like the olden days of dial-up without the annoying modem sound and everyone else in the house going at ten-times the speed. Soon I will be saying bye-bye to this old laptop which has served me for over nine years.

They are loud, though.

2011-11-09T06:30:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, I can totally see the appeal of the leaf blowers. Especially after an evening of raking.

Why does convenience and ease have to be harmful to the environment?

Vote early

2011-11-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

It's election day in Ohio, and today we all have the opportunity to go to the polls and vote NO on issue 2 (which, to confuse the old folks) will repeal SB5. SB5 is the infamous Ohio legislation that denies employees who work for the government the right to collectively bargain for their contracts.
The "No on Issue 2" ads that I've seen (all internet-based) take the approach that this law will affect the quality of services you recieve from your local governments. They played the fear card.
I know that fearmongering has been a staple of political rhetoric since Thomas Jefferson warned that electing John Adams would revert the U.S. back to colonial status, but I don't have to like it. Frightening people into doing something right is still frightening people. Scaring the old folks into believing that voting yes on issue 2 will nearly-directly result in their house burning down is NOT the way I'd like this issue to pass.
Ideally, SB5 would be defeated on its lack of merit and basic denial of rights. Since this is not an ideal world, VOTE NO ON ISSUE 2 OR ALL THE PARAMEDICS WON'T COME TO YOUR HOUSE IF YOU NEED THEM. Or something like that.

Roadkill

2011-11-07T06:30:00.000-05:00

Best use of GI Joe action figures. Ever.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-11-04T06:30:00.000-04:00

My head is full of phlegm (and little else) but I will soldier on and post a Friday Book Blog for my loyal readership. (Both of you!)
In a three-book week, the best of the bunch was Carola Dunn's latest Daisy Dalrymple mystery, Anthem for Doomed Youth. I love this time period (between the Wars) but have not, in the past, been a big fan of Dunn's previous work.
However, pickings were slim at my local library this week, so I made do, and was pleasantly surprised. The book splits its content between nosy Daisy who fancies herself a genius sleuth (and has had prior success as such), and her husband DCI Alec Fletcher. The dicotomy allows for a cozy and a police procedural in one novel. Nicely done.

Oh pairs

2011-11-03T06:30:00.000-04:00

Mice and licorice look like they should rhyme. Why don't they?

Others?

Taxation WITH representation.

2011-11-02T06:30:00.000-04:00

Simon Johnson and James Kwak compare the modern-day Tea Party not to the Boston event they so happily cite, but to the early 1790s Whiskey Rebellion.
Very apt.

Dia de los Muertos

2011-11-01T06:30:00.000-04:00

People go to cemeteries to be with the souls of the departed and build private altars containing the favorite foods and beverages as well as photos and memorabilia of the departed. The intent is to encourage visits by the souls, so that the souls will hear the prayers and the comments of the living directed to them.

This may seem kookie to you, but if you think about it, the only difference between this and American high school kids is that in Mexico the quarter-pounder and fries with the 6-pack of Bud Light is for Uncle Bob, and here the teenagers just consume it themselves.

Cosplay

2011-10-31T06:30:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween!
Every year, my coworkers and I dress up for Halloween. Our office is good enough to hold a party and even a contest for best costume. In the past, we've been the three little pigs, worker bees (with our queen), the four seasons, paper-plastic-aluminum recycling, and this year we are going as see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak-no-evil. Our challenge is always to find a way to incorporate the most comfortable clothing into a group costume. Sweat pants, sweat shirts, and limited accessories are our ideal. And the less we spend, the better.
We are accepting suggestions for next year. Hopefully the department will be at four then (right now we are just three).

Friday Book Blogging

2011-10-28T06:30:00.000-04:00

Of the four books I read this week three of them were contenders for the top spot. Surprisingly, Jo Goodman's ~~trash~~ -erm- romance novel Kissing Comfort was much better than I expected. (I expect very little of these paperbacks.) Also surprisingly, the newest Russell-Holmes story from Laurie R. King, The Pirate King, was not nearly as good as most of her previous ones. The third book in contention was Anne Perry's Acceptable Loss, which is a William and Hester Monk mystery.
My choice for the win this week is The Pirate King, primarily because, although it was less cerebral and more physical, to the point of near-slapstick in parts (the piano?!) than nearly all Russell's prior adventures, the intention to spin a Sherlock Holmes/Mary Russell mystery as an homage to Gilbert and Sullivan must be served with tongue firmly planted in cheek. With that in mind the pirates and seasickness and a film of a play within a film and an eccentric poet (who was real!) and flower-eating goats, all seemed, if not perfectly reasonable, at least perfectly in tune with the tenor of the story. That being said, I do hope that the next book harkens back to some of the earlier tales.

Boo-licious

2011-10-27T06:30:00.000-04:00

Planning the big Halloween dinner Saturday.
Definitely going with the mummy meatloaf. Probably the green gruel with floating eyeball. Simple mashed potato ghosts. Creepy graveyard puddings for dessert.

Now I need a scary vegetable. Any suggestions???

Job creating

2011-10-26T06:30:00.000-04:00

Have you noticed the Republicans have been trying to reframe the argument against raising the tax rates on the highest income bracket in the U.S. as inhibiting "job creators"? The implication, of course, in classic Reagan-era "voodoo economics," is that the wealthiest Americans are able to boost our economy by creating jobs (and not just for Mexican lawn boys).
There are two problems with this theory. First, all evidence points to the fact that the wealthiest Amercians are not spending. They are hoarding. They are not creating jobs. The tax breaks have been in effect for nearly a decade. Where are those jobs that they were going to create?
Secondly, the true "job creators" are ALL OF US. We go to the store, whether it's the local market or the Wally World. We buy goods and services that make it possible for companies who provide those goods and services to employ more people.
One of the major reasons there aren't more jobs available is that the suffering middle class doesn't have the income to buy a new camper or a new refrigerator or have the lawn maintained or the car detailed. The GOP can blather on about tax incentives all they want; the simple fact is, jobs will appear when companies need to meet a greater demand. Giving millionaires a tax break will not increase demand.
Anything that helps the vast majority of this country get over the hump during this mega-recession (or whatever they're calling it now) will ultimately create jobs. If that help comes at the expense of raising the marginal tax rate on income OVER $1,000,000 per year by 3%, I say it's well worth it. If I ever make $1,000,001 in a single year, I will happily pay 39 cents of that final dollar in taxes.

Neighborly

2011-10-25T06:30:00.000-04:00

Would it be wrong to post a sign in my front yard saying the following:

"To the asshole who lets his very large dog shit in my yard--> Get a bag, and learn how to be a good neighbor, jerkoff."

I'm thinking six-inch letters on a banner across the front lawn. Too much?

chores

2011-10-24T06:30:00.000-04:00

Having an entire weekend completely to myself, I have come to the inevitable, yet unhappy, conclusion that I am lazy. I began the weekend with a list of six good-sized chores to complete. I finished two and then half of two others. My record is 3-3, much like my beloved Cleveland Browns. And like them, I didn't get to 3 and 3 in a pretty way, but in fits and starts, with long (very long) pauses during which I did little at all.

As far as I know, there is no cure for this. How does one become un-lazy?

Friday Book Blogging

2011-10-21T06:30:00.000-04:00

This was a four book week. Since I chose last week, a book that does not, in any way, resemble "chick lit," this week I'm going all out in the chick lit direction. I choose Katie Fforde's Love Letters as the best of the bunch.
I'm not clear on how the title relates to the actual story, but the story is the archtypical girl meets boy, couple encounters completely avoidable complications, couple overcomes complications (usually by the expedient method of actually speaking to each other), couple lives happily ever after.
In this case, girl is Laura who is a socially awkward 26-year-old virgin, and boy is Dermott, a womanizing Irish writing prodigy suffering from writers' block.
Obviously the appeal of the book is in the characters and not in the formulaic plot. It was a nicely angled, well characterized book that matched up well with the romantic anniversary that my long-suffering husband and I celebrated.

Creative license.

2011-10-20T06:30:00.000-04:00

Not that I noticed or anything, but why do all the Penthouse Forum-style stories feature gorgeous women with gigantic breasts, no cellulite, and a huge desire to give blow jobs while fondling their equally attractive sorority sister?
And why does every trashy romance novel end with the drop-dead handsome man declaring his undying love and heading to the nearest church to exchange vows?

The reality is that a slightly-overweight, plainly-pretty girl awkwardly attempts a blow job for her geeky pizza-delivery boyfriend in the hope that the recipient will be kind enough to call her the next day and maybe they can move in together in a year or so.
Ah. Well, you can't deny that the gorgeous sorority girls and handsome sensitive heroes make for much better reading.

What comes around, goes around

2011-10-19T06:30:00.000-04:00

You know, as a long-time liberal, I have to admit to some gleeful appreciation of the Republican primary debates. These goofballs look as presidential as my dog.
It is startlingly reminiscent of many Democratic debates in years past. And for that reason, it makes me smile. Kinda a cosmic karma thing. I wonder if Dick Gephardt feels the same way.

Vincent van Gogh CSI

2011-10-18T06:30:00.000-04:00

So what do you think? Was one of the greatest painters of his age murdered by a bullying teenager?

foodie

2011-10-17T06:30:00.000-04:00

I will admit to some pretentions to foodie-ness. I appreciate well-prepared, creative, fresh, delicious food. No matter what it is (although I have never been able to cultivate an appreciation of bivalves).
So for our anniversary this year, my long-suffering husband took me out to Chinato. Everything we had was delicious, but the fusilli with ragout of tongue, oxtail and red wine was extraordinary.
I have been fortunate to eat at some fantastic restaurants, and it seems to me there is always one dish that stands out as phenomenal. I know that Cleveland isn't NYC or L.A. on the food scene. D.C. and Vegas and even Chicago have more major players in big-name restaurants. But thanks in part to our very own Iron Chef, Michael Symon, Cleveland is becoming an excellent spot for some very high-end dining. And I am but one of the beneficiaries.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-10-14T06:33:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've been really up on my "pick of the week." For the past few months I've felt more like I'm choosing the lesser of two mediocrities. This week I read Chris Grabenstein's Tilt A Whirl and thoroughly enjoyed it.
The narrator is pitch-perfect. The lead character is expertly sketched. The story is well-plotted, interesting, and filled with twists and quirks. All-in-all, a great first in a series of buddy-cop mysteries that I have already added to my list.
And this book has the added benefit of possibly appealing to my male readership. (both of you!)

Best hair story ever.

2011-10-13T06:20:00.000-04:00

The news featured the story of a fringe ultra-conservative sect of Amish who allegedly avenged themselves on the more "mainstream" of the movement by breaking into their homes and cutting of their beards and hair.
The leader of these fanatical scissor-wielding nuts? Mullet.

I have an answer for that

2011-10-12T06:30:00.000-04:00

Every month at the back of Vanity Fair, there's a Proust Questionnaire featuring a different celebrity. The Questionnaire itself dates from about 1890 when Marcel Proust (most likely with tongue firmly in cheek) filled out the "Album to Record Thoughts, Feelings, etc." in the back of a friend's confession album which was like a cross between an autograph book and a diary. The original of these signed by the novelist himself was discovered in 1924. It was adapted first by Bernard Pivot then James Lipton for television interviews. Vanity Fair has been running it for 18 years on its last page featuring over 100 celebrities. They also offer an online questionnaire where they will compare your answers to their celebrity database. Take a quick look at some of the questions and give it a try.
The principal aspect of your personality.
Your favorite qualities in a man.
Your favorite qualities in a woman.
What you appreciate the most in your friends.
Your main fault.
Your greatest accomplishment.
Your idea of happiness.
Your idea of misery.
Your heroes in real life.
Historical figures that you despise the most.
The natural talent you'd like to be gifted with.
How you want to die.
What is your present state of mind.
Your motto.

I share over 95% of my answers with Martin Scorcese. Hmmmm.

Who was first

2011-10-11T06:30:00.000-04:00

I may have mentioned it once or twice, but was remiss in reminding you all that Sunday was Leif Erikson Day.
I love the Scandinavian sense of humor that chose the day before Columbus Day to celebrate. (That Columbus, always a day late!)
Wikipedia says, "October 9 is not associated with any particular event in Leif Erikson's life. The date was chosen because the ship Restauration coming from Stavanger, Norway, arrived in New York Harbor on October 9, 1825." Sure, it was. ;-)

Spooky

2011-10-10T06:30:00.000-04:00

Our front yard has a miniature graveyard in it. And therere ghouls and ghosts, a couple of skeletons, and a vampire bat.
Halloween is the second most profitable holiday for retailers behind Christmas. And when you consider that the only "gift" associated with the day is trick-or-treat candy, that is a lot of money being spent on styrofoam tombstones and gauze-draped skulls.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-10-07T06:30:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure it's the best book I read this week, but it's the most astonishing. The Russian black comedy Death and the Penguin by Andrey Kurkov wins the top spot this week for sheer bizarreness.
The translation is choppy and oddly written, I'm not sure if it's done that way to reflect the original writing style or because it's a poor job, but whichever the reason, the narrative suffers for it. It took me about 60 pages to get used to it.
Viktor, our main character, is the quintessential hapless bumbler. He has fallen into a job writing obituaries for the files at a newpaper in Kiev. His adopted penguin, Misha, is his only companion. What follows is a twisted story of mafia hits and protection that all revolve around his vaunted obituaries. Viktor's life quickly becomes ridiculous and deadly.

RIP

2011-10-06T06:30:00.000-04:00

A man who once declared he would "kill segregation or be killed by it," had the misfortune to die on the same day as Steve Jobs. The Reverend Fred Shuttlesworth who was one of the founders of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, led the fight to end segregation in the South during the 50s and 60s.
The world lost two men who have changed the way we live.

Would you like tripe with that?

2011-10-05T06:30:00.000-04:00

For centuries the only people who ate sweetbreads were the ones who couldn't afford anything better. Now it's the coolest thing on the menu at 4-star restaurants everywhere. (All those poor 19th century housewives would be shocked.)

I'm undecided on whether this speaks to our thriftiness or our lemming-like ability to follow trends.

All aboard

2011-10-04T05:30:00.000-04:00

On this day 128 years ago the very first Orient Express chugged out of Gare de l'Est in Paris on its way to Constantinople. The Express was touted for its luxury and speed. You could get from Paris to Vienna in just under 29 hours.
It seems human beings by nature are in a hurry. Faster has always been a demand of our species. We spend our youth impatient with the pace of life and our older middle-age increasingly aware of how little time we have left.
Luxury train travel, aside from the now-astronomical price tag, would appeal only to those of us who have managed to overcome that internal clock that winds us up to move faster. And even they are probably checking their Blackberries every ten minutes.

Musing of the day

2011-10-03T06:30:00.000-04:00

Can an elephant get elephantiasis?

And if so, doesn't that, by definition, mean that its parts are elephant-sized, and therefore normal?

Friday Book Blogging

2011-09-30T18:52:00.001-04:00

Somehow my Friday Book Blog today was lost to the ether. I suspect user error. At any rate, I am recreating it. For the most part.

The top book this week in a light field of four, was Susan Wittig Albert’s latest Beatrix Potter story, The Tale of Castle Cottage. I have chosen a different book from the same series previously.
The charm of these books lies in the anthropomorphized animals so reminiscent of Potter’s own stories. Albert recreates them with pitch-perfect mannerisms and adds to the menagerie.

Empathy; I haz it.

2011-09-29T06:30:00.000-04:00

My mother is now on the interwebs. I totally understand all that eye rolling my daughter has been doing for years.

Social experimentation

2011-09-28T06:30:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you saw the debate or the furor afterwards regarding the booing of a (now) openly gay soldier serving overseas. The soldier posted a YouTube video featuring a question about the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. When he identified himself on the video as gay, more than one loud "booo" can be heard from the audience. The most remarkable thing is that until the Fox News personnel and the candidates left the hermetically sealed bubble in which the debate took place, it didn't occur to ANY of them to openly support the Serviceman or chastise the jerks in the audience.
Most now have distanced themselves from the vocal bigots, but Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly has decided that maybe what we heard wasn't so bad. She defended the audience saying, "Were the boos directed...at the gay soldier, or at his question? Do they boo when they see he is a gay soldier, or when he makes clear that he wants gay rights protected?" and noting that there were "perhaps a total of two boos."
So really, it's fine to boo at a brave American who is willing to fight and die for your bigotted ass to sit comfortably in your LayZ Boy while you blather incoherantly about how the gays are ruining America. Or wait. You can boo at his question which was in effect asking for a reaffirmation of his right to FIGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY as an openly gay man instead of a fearful closeted homosexual. That's totally not the same thing as booing at the soldier himself.
I believe this comes from the self-righteously priggish school of "hate the sin, not the sinner" bull crap that moralistic gasbags trot out everytime they get offended by someone else's behavior.

Bellwether

2011-09-27T06:30:00.000-04:00

weather: (noun) the state of the atmosphere with respect to heat or cold, wetness or dryness, calm or storm, clearness or cloudiness.

whether: (conj.) used as a function word usually with correlative or or with or whether to indicate an indirect question involving stated or implied alternatives.

wether: (noun) a castrated ram.

It matters whether your bellwether is under the weather.

Color me odd

2011-09-26T06:30:00.000-04:00

Growing up, we rarely got actual Crayola crayons. And no matter what your mom tells you, there IS a difference. The cheap crayons are waxier and slicker with not as much color and a completely different smell. So when I was old enough to buy my own crayons, I always chose Crayola. The big box with the built-in sharpener. Yeah. Of course (not to date myself, but...) when I was buying crayons for myself, the big box was 64.
Kids nowadays scoff at 64. Now the kid with the box of 64 is the one getting the pitiful looks second only to the poor soul who has the generic wax-stick crayons. Crayola has a whopping 133 colors in its repertoire today. However, allow me to point out that many of these are remarkably similar to each other. Still, the status boost from a 120-count box of Crayolas has got to be pretty high.
Also, they have incredibly stupid names. Remember Orange-Red? It was an orangish red color before they discontinued it in 1990. Now you can color something in Razzmatazz or Macaroni and Cheese, but forget about Blue Gray, Orange-Yellow, or Raw Umber.
I, however, have Raw Umber. And Blue Gray. And even the short-lived Teal Blue and Magic Mint in pristine, unused, crayon-scented glory. I wonder what they'll fetch on Craig's List.

Friday Book Blogging

2011-09-23T06:30:00.000-04:00

We're going to begin our autumn with Agatha Christie's Miss Marple as she solves The Murder at the Vicarage. Who doesn't love meddling spinsters, right? In this introductory full-length Miss Marple mystery, again and again, the reader revels in Christie's genius with characterization. It is what makes Christie's novels and plays endure.
In addition, it was a light book week with only three books and none of them weighty non-fiction. I'd better pick up the slack.

Pop-sical

2011-09-22T06:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, so almost every evening when I sit down to write the following day's blog post, I ask my daughter what I should write about. And every time she says, "SHINee!!!" (SHINee, for those of you over the age of 22 is a South Korean pop group. They are a really slicked up version of the Backstreet Boys in Korean.) Then we laugh and I post about something else.
Then, lo and behold, yesterday in the news there was an article about, not SHINee, but k-pop in general. The article talks about the intense popularity of these groups which are groomed to put on a show, but I especially liked this paragraph:

South Korean President Lee Myung-bak ranks the overseas success of "K-pop" among his country's top achievements, and the government operates a "Korean Wave" index to gauge the fever for its cultural exports.

Well, it's an export. They will be playing Madison Square Garden on October 23rd. I can only imagine the shrieks of swooning teen aged girls.

Ask and tell

2011-09-21T06:30:00.000-04:00

Openly gay men and women have been serving in all branches of the U.S. military (yes, even the Marines) for a whole day now and society has not crumbled.

The Navy is going to start using the Village People in its recruitment ads.

Love of money

2011-09-20T06:36:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, two of my least favorite people were on the same show: Chris Matthews whose flabby lips spew spittle every time he gets agitated (which is daily) and Jim Cramer whose idiocy is matched only by his hyperbolic hyperactivity. I read the transcript, and in it found a disturbing statement.
Jim Cramer, who, if we are to believe him, chit-chats with corporate CEO's during crack breaks for his show I guess, says, "[T]hey [CEO's] really just feel like, look, if we got a Republican in there [the White House], we could really do a great thing in this country by hiring a lot of people." Thereby suggesting that these guys are sitting on thousands of jobs but aren't gonna hire until Rick Perry is sworn in (or whatever).
One: Bullshit. No company, I don't care how conservative, is going to hire workers unless there is demand for whatever product that company offers. And no company, no matter how conservative, is NOT going to hire workers just to piss off a president. Two: if there was a (completely moronic) CEO who indeed is sitting on jobs when thousands of workers need them, he should be tried for treason because that is undermining the security of our country.
Chris Matthews does point out that "'since the recovery began in June of 2009, corporate profits captured 88% of the growth in real national income while aggregate wages and salaries accounted for only slightly more than 1% of that growth.' This is the stuff that causes revolutions, from the bottom, not from the top."
More than any disparity in tax rates, this is what is tearing our country apart. When 88% of our nation's growth is raked in by corporations (who are people too!) while all wages and salaries comprise just 1% of that growth, we lose what makes us America.
The next time you hear the talking point about "taxing the job creators" ask just how many millions of dollars do the corporations need before they'll create a job or two. I say for every $100K in tax breaks, they should be required to create a $50K job. The greed and the hoarding have got to end. It's true that in the end it will hurt the very corporations who are so intent to clutch their obscene earnings to their bosoms. (Don't forget, corporations are people, so they must have bosoms.)
Even BP has to sell gas to someone, and if the entire middle class is destroyed due in part to their unwillingness to pay taxes on their earnings, they will lose a lot of money without that customer base. However, in order for that to happen, the middle class will have already been destroyed so we won't be around to see BP suffer. Of course, if they don't make record profits, they can just write that off as a tax credit.

A day at the Zoo

2011-09-19T06:30:00.000-04:00

Until I get there, I never remember how much I love the zoo. I know there's a whole Peta-sized group out there who argues that it's inhumane to cage these wild animals. And in truth, a couple of them looked like they were a little bit stir crazy. (One of the black bears spent countless minutes facing a rock wall and circling his head counterclockwise.)
But if it weren't for the zoo, I would only know a tiger from photographs and video on National Geographic specials. (Do they even have those any more?)The same is true for a red panda. And a gorilla. And an elephant. And... and... and... .
And pandas, rhinos, orangutans, and other endagered animals might have a chance to survive our destruction only with the help of a zoo or two. If only there had been conservation programs in place to help the thylacine I mentioned last week. Or any of these:

Lake Mackay Hare-wallaby (1932, Australia)
Desert Rat-kangaroo (1935, Australia)
Crescent Nailtail Wallaby (1956, Australia)
Red-bellied Gracile Opossum (1962, Argentina)
North African Elephant (North Africa)
Sturdee's Pipistrelle (2000, Japan)
Pyrenean Ibex (2000, Pyrenees)
Caribbean Monk Seal (1952, Jamaica)
Bali Tiger (1940s, Bali)
Japanese Wolf (1930s, Japan)
Mexican grizzly bear (1960s, Mexico)
Caspian Tiger (1970s, Tajikistan)
Javan Tiger (1976, Java)
Quagga (1883, South Africa)
Tarpan (1919, Eurasia)

Friday Book Blogging

2011-09-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

This week the top pick, Mark Kurlansky's Edible Stories prevailed because the creative and unique deserve a post. The full name of the book is Edible Stories: A Novel in Sixteen Parts which is to say, 16 short storie that are loosely woven together to form, if not a cohesive whole, then at least a fascinating one.
Naturally, some of the stories are weaker than others, but the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. You really need to read all of them to appreciate Kurlansky's inventiveness.
While the majority of reviews online focused on the food, and really there is an aspect of food and/or drink in all the stories, I liked the quirkiness, the oddities that we meet throughout, beginning with Robert Eggles. But what really stuck with me, and this may be more appealing to me due to my way of thinking (which is pretty linear), was the way the stories were all part of a giant web that circled back around at the end.