Trick or Treat

It's time to buy the treats for the little goblins and ghosts (and SpongeBob Squarepants) that will inevitably knock on the door this coming Tuesday evening. Choosing Halloween candy is tricky --pardon the pun-- and must be given due consideration.

• Chocolate, of course is a big winner with the added bonus that any extra may be enjoyed by the giver after the festivities. Not plain chocolate either, but something gooey, like Snickers or $100 Grand bars. 'Fun size' is perfectly acceptable, although we all fondly remember some little old lady who was overly generous and handed out whole FULL SIZED bars in our youth. The down-side is the poor kid who has peanut allergies or braces.
• Another option is fruit-flavored candies like Skittles or Nerds. The hard ones being allowed for metal-covered teeth.
• Unacceptable is any candy that is not properly sealed. Sad to say, in this day and age, non-hermetically-sealed candy is quickly discarded by over-zealous parents upon the return home.
• Completely forbidden is any form of fruit, not only by paranoid moms and dads, but by the diligent trick-or-treaters themselves. Who goes to all the trouble of walking blocks of houses in the dark in an uncomfortable costume, frequently braving bad weather, just to get a freakin apple?
• The oddball category gets some notice here too. I personally loved to get some weird candy that I would never buy for myself at the local Superette.
• Finally, please do not hand out pennies. Only ancient stooped grandfathers do this remembering the days that a handful of pennies was a fortune. Now they won't even get you a piece of Bazooka.

Best treat I've ever witnessed: can of Sprite. Unique, tasty and perfect to wash down the twenty Milky Ways that you munch before bedtime.