Job application

I would like to announce my candidacy for Supreme Court Justice. I’m a registered voter and I’ve read the Constitution –well, the Bill of Rights part, at least. Okay, I skimmed. But I’m at least as qualified as anyone else. Right? Plus, I can Google all kinds of precedents. And I’m a woman, so that makes me even more appealing to “balance the court.” As far as I can tell, the only thing keeping me from this job is my lapsed membership in the I*heart*Dubya Fan Club. (Which is, as you can see, packed with new members.) Damn. If only I’d known, I would have sent in my dues and I could have a job for life!