Wait until next year

For all those of you who were rooting for the Cleveland Cavaliers, welcome to being Cleveland sports fan. Times 100.


Edit to add a link to this beautifully written Slate article expressing how Cleveland (or just me) feels about this season. 

Cavs

Wikipedia says that Cavalier was originally coined as a pejorative term. Its root can be found in Shakespeare's cavaleros describing an "overbearing swashbuckler or swaggering gallant." During the English Civil War, Cromwell's Parlimentarians used the word as a derogatory term assigned to the Royalists.

However, for our purposes, we are using Edward Simmons description of a Cavalier:  "a Child of Honour, a Gentleman well borne and bred, that loves his king [James] for conscience sake, of a clearer countenance, and bolder look than other men, because of a more loyal Heart."

All In

Last month, at the  beginning of the NBA playoffs, I posted about hope. Tonight, we hope. All Clevelanders, everywhere. Despite the facts. Because that, more than anything else, is what it means to be a fan in Cleveland:  147 Seasons since our last title; 0 Championship seasons since 1965, yet still we cheer. We put our hearts into each season of each sport and we all, collectively --rich, poor, white, black, male, female, gay, straight, and all the inbetweens-- we all HOPE.

Dare we hope?

I don't think it's possible for any city in the world to want their sports team to win as much as Cleveland is wanting the Cavaliers to do so this season. If our collective desire for a championship were a tangible thing it would blanket the city knee-deep in petals of hope.
We all want to believe.
Even here in Cleveland, home of the Drive, Red Right 88, the Fumble, the Shot, Jose Mesa, Rocky Colavito.
ESPECIALLY here in Cleveland.

Bring on the confetti, just to piss this guy off.

Apparently at least one sportswriter (anyone can call themselves a writer nowadays) in Boston seems to be advocating his team lose to the Cavs because we deserve a championship. Or something.
He also wrote a bunch of crap about how Cleveland is on a depressing downward spiral because you can buy a $3 PBR downtown and there are buildings that are unoccupied.
I imagine in Boston (where the English language barely exists) $3 will get you a thimble of Bud Light and every single building in downtown is a brand new bistro or high-roller casino. Or something.

If it were a potato...

Yesterday, during the height of the hoopla surrounding the U.S. Patent Office refusal to renew the patent on the racist NFL name of Washington, D.C.'s hometown team, one of the media (Fox's Lisa Kennedy Montgomery aka Kennedy of MTV fame) argued that the term "redskins" isn't as offensive as the "n-word" and that by comparing the two, you are "minimizing" the impact of the latter.
Bullshit.
First of all, who the hell are you to decide which racial slur is less offensive? And secondly, as Josh Marshall points out, "this sort of mascotization comes out of a history of domination, dehumanization, and romanticization." The name dehumanizes, as all racial slurs are intended to. Those who continue to lobby for these teams perpetuate the oppression. 

On your marks...

For the Kentucky Derby this weekend, I'm trying out mint juleps. I learned that the mint julep was probably originally medicinal (like all bourbon, right!?) and dates to the 1700s. Julep refers to a manner of sweetening drinks to make them taste better. Palatable potables.
Juleps may or may not have originally contained bourbon, but without question they do now. I was going to make mine the cheater way by muddling the mint with the simple syrup and adding the bourbon over ice. The traditional method calls for crushed ice and a sprinkle of powdered sugar so the finished beverage resembles a sno-cone in a fancy silver cup.
All you need is mint, sugar, water/ice, and bourbon. And a horse. I'm kinda liking Ride On Curlin so far.

DeChief

For opening day this year my company allowed us to dress-down in Indians gear. As a protest against the offensive caricature of Chief Wahoo, on opening day I "deChiefed" an old shirt. 
And I tweeted it (Yes, I'm on Twitter too.) with the hashtag #deChief. It was inspired by a Twitter user @DeChiefWahoo and I think it's a great way to show that we like our baseball team but hate the racist grinning mascot.

Everyone who supports/loves Wahoo uses the same two arguments: 1. It's tradition. and 2. It's not offensive to me.
Listen: 1. Slavery was traditional once too. Just because your grandpa always said n*gger doesn't mean it's okay. And 2. Blackface minstrel shows weren't offensive to the crowds of white people in the audiences, but that doesn't make them acceptable.

Anyway, the point of this blog post is: after getting a couple of re-tweets and such, I got a request from ABC News to use the image. And it brought to my attention that I had not officially posted on my blog about my disgust of Wahoo. (All over Facebook, other people's blogs, but not here.)

Long way down

How do those ski-jumpers manage to let go? I'd be clinging to that gate bar with all my strength.

Wiki Wednesday

1.  "Shipwrecked Spanish conquistador Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca becomes the first known European to set foot in Texas" on this day in 1528. (This makes sense in that you would expect someone whose name mean Cow Head to be associated with Texas.)
2.   "In New Brunswick, New Jersey, Rutgers College defeats Princeton University (then known as the College of New Jersey), 6-4, in the first official intercollegiate American football game" on this day in 1869. (And you thought the OSU-Michigan rivalry was long-standing.)
3.  "Parker Brothers acquires the forerunner patents for MONOPOLY from Elizabeth Magie" on this day in 1935. (Whatever they paid her, she was screwed.)
4.  "Meet the Press makes its television debut" on this day in 1947. (Thank god politicians established a place they can pander directly to the public so efficiently.)
5. Possibly one of the worst days in football history in 1995, "Cleveland Browns relocation controversy: Art Modell announces that he signed a deal that would relocate the Cleveland Browns to Baltimore to become the Baltimore Ravens." (There are still Cleveland fans who won't talk about it.)

I am ready for some football

As a Browns fan, the only time of the year I really like football is preseason.



Update: So I was at the game but I missed the streaker. See what happens when you leave at halftime?

pretty good seats, eh!?

Almost

How much does it suck to be Yu Darvish today?

No one is remembering the 110 perfect pitches or the 14 strike-outs that the Texas pitcher threw yesterday on opening day of baseball season. They are all just remembering that with 2 out in the bottom of the ninth inning, he gave up a single.

Let the madness begin

For the first time in my entire life, I entered a bracket (brackets?) for the NCAA March Madness tournament. I don't remember much of what I chose at all, but I do have the Hoosiers for the championship.
I know nothing at all about basketball, so chances are, I'll be out of it early on, but it was free and I had a few minutes at lunch yesterday.
At any rate, we'll see if I become mad as a March Hare or a Hatter during the Madness, or if I'm as quiet as a dormouse.

Thank God

Why is it that every asshole who wins some sporting event thanks God?
Even if God actually existed, he would not be assisting your win. He did not help you catch that ball or tackle that quarterback. You are crediting the Deity with the creation of the universe, known and unknown, and you think he's taking time off to make sure the Ravens bring home a trophy? Yeah. Those 3 million starving Africans: screw 'em. God's making sure Ray Lewis gets one more ring.

You will see this same rant next month following the Oscars.

Wow

This weekend I found a great pair of walking shoes, ate good food, got an Obama Biden 2012 sign for the front yard, hubby fixed the roof, the weather was astonishingly good, and the Browns won.

Just. Wow.

Not an Olympic sport

"[I]t's a bit like wrestling but with a lot of contact below the knees." ~Shin-kicking Championship judge James Wiseman

I have caught March Madness

My alma mater, the #1 party school in the nation, just made it into the Sweet Sixteen!

WOO HOO! GO BOBCATS!

(Of course, now we're facing top-seeded North Carolina, but, hey, it is awesome right now.)

Giants = America

I don't know if you noticed it, but there was a football game last night. Actually, a pretty good one if you like that sort of thing. And if you're a NY Giants fan, you have to be pretty happy today.
On the other hand, the advertising left much to be desired. The Doritos Great Dane and Betty White won hands down for humor, but  there wasn't much competition.
And oh. my. god. did we eat like pigs!


Yesterday, if you think about it, was the embodiment of the most American: Sports competition in a sport that, for all intents and purposes, is played only here. (Do NOT comment about Australia or Europe. Seriously.) Lots of chips, dips, sloppy joes, buffalo wings, and crappy beer. Tons of commercials. especially about cars and beer. Cheesy high-production musical performance. More food. And beer.
So, the Super Bowl is America; the Giants won the Super Bowl; the Giants are America.

Losers

Yesterday the playoffs were difficult for a Browns fan. We found ourselves in the position of rooting for one of two teams for whom we have a deep-seated hatred as only sports can nurture. The Steelers have been rivals since the two teams took the field. And as comedian Mike Polk points out, it's a relatively lopsided rivalry.
On the other hand, the Broncos are the cause of THE FUMBLE. It may seem absurd to you that we Browns fans still remember a single event in a single game nearly 25 years ago, but that's what being a Browns fan is about.
It's about knowing that your team has not won a championship since 1963 and never a Superbowl, but cheering them on in the freezing stadium. It's about rooting for your team every year despite the fact that the win-loss record is nearly guaranteed to be under .500.
So given a choice between the two, for a Browns fan, I just focus on the fact that Pittsburgh lost. 

chores

Having an entire weekend completely to myself, I have come to the inevitable, yet unhappy, conclusion that I am lazy. I began the weekend with a list of six good-sized chores to complete. I finished two and then half of two others. My record is 3-3, much like my beloved Cleveland Browns. And like them, I didn't get to 3 and 3 in a pretty way, but in fits and starts, with long (very long) pauses during which I did little at all.

As far as I know, there is no cure for this. How does one become un-lazy?