endless points for creativity

We were out late. Here's a cheater.

But still fun.

Tippacanoe and Tyler too

On this day in history, President John Tyler took the oath of office.
"[William Henry] Harrison's death made Tyler the first vice president to succeed to the presidency without being elected to the office. To forestall constitutional uncertainty, Tyler immediately took the oath of office, moved into the White House, and assumed full presidential powers, a precedent that would govern future successions and eventually become codified in the Twenty-fifth Amendment. A strict constructionist, Tyler found much of the Whig platform unconstitutional, and vetoed several of his party's bills."
At the time Tyler took over as President, there were no established rules as to how the Vice President was supposed to behave or even if he was supposed to govern at all (as opposed to being a place-holder until another President was elected). Tyler set the precedent for becoming the President. 


Also, two of his grandchildren are STILL ALIVE! How cool is that?

Essentially

If I were pithier, I'd be an orange.

They're just dying to get in

The most famous (and largest) cemetery in the city of Paris, Pere Lachaise, was originally very unpopular. The administrators paid to move a couple of famous dead people (La Fontaine and Molière) in to increase its popularity. It worked. About 1 million people are buried there, many of them famous.

Melty

If there is one thing that porn is good at, it's really bad wordplay (and frequently really bad foreplay).

A movie studio has agreed to recall pornographic DVDs whose titles and packaging mimic those of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

Caballero Video also agreed to stop marketing and to destroy materials used to make 10 titles in its "Ben & Cherry's" X-rated film series while a lawsuit against it is pending.

Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc, a unit of London-based Unilever Plc, had sued Caballero on Sept. 5 for trademark infringement.

It complained that DVD titles such as "Boston Cream Thighs," "Chocolate Fudge Babes," "Peanut Butter D-Cups" were too similar to its ice cream flavors Boston Cream Pie, Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Peanut Butter Cup.

For some reason, the Chubby Hubby DVD didn't sell.

Best hair story ever.

The news featured the story of a fringe ultra-conservative sect of Amish who allegedly avenged themselves on the more "mainstream" of the movement by breaking into their homes and cutting of their beards and hair.
The leader of these fanatical scissor-wielding nuts? Mullet.

The importance of knowing your Shakespeare

From the general plot synopsis of Othello by William Shakespeare: "Othello confronts Desdemona, and then kills her by smothering her in bed."

Knowing that, can anything explain this: Othello 10-piece bedding ensemble?







h/t to pal Emily for this one.

Individual mandates

(Personally, I like all my man dates to be individual.)

"I must reluctantly conclude that Congress exceeded the bounds of its authority in passing the Act with the individual mandate," Vinson writes. "Because the individual mandate is unconstitutional... ."

So it's okay for the State of Ohio to force me to buy car insurance, but it's not okay for the United States to force me to buy health insurance?

There are many things about this health care bill that I really like. I understand the need for individual mandates, but to me that is license to line the pockets of insurance companies unless there is a public option which there currently is not. If everyone has health insurance, the total cost of care for everyone goes down. The use of doctors instead of emergency rooms for minor illnesses increases. The regular annual check-ups and other health maintenance improves. We all benefit when everyone is healthier. The individual mandate is what makes the health care bill affordable as legislation. I don't see it as unconstitutional, but more as a necessary evil.

Update: Apparently the State of South Dakota is looking at taking the individual mandate to new extremes. Legislation under debate there reads: "Not later than January 1, 2012, each citizen residing in the state of South Dakota who has attained the age of twenty-one years shall purchase or otherwise acquire a firearm suitable to their temperament, physical capacity, and personal preference sufficient to provide for their ordinary self-defense."

A word on words

As an amateur grammarian, I get annoyed, frustrated, disgusted, and occasionally pissed-off at people who misuse the English language. (Especially if they are the same people who agitate for establishing English as a national language.)

My personal pet peeve is homophone confusion, or, as I like to call it conhomophusion. If you think back to 4th grade English class, you will remember that a homophone is a word that sounds like another word, but has a different meaning (not a telephone used by a gay guy).

A common example is there and their and they're. All three sound the same, but they are spelled differently and have different meanings. We all know the meanings. And somewhere in the back of our heads, we know the spellings.
Or hear and here.
(I'm willing to forgive the apostrophe on its and it's, because that is one of those things that goes against all the rules.)
This is our native language, people. If we can't speak and/or write it correctly, we have no right to demand it of others.

Bad grammar is just un-American.

-----and don't even get me started on texting (or as the kids say "txtng")!

Ain't technology grand?

Wars, genocide, flooding of biblical proportions, murders, landslides, but we still find time to exploit the latest technology: "Shooting begins on first 3D porno"


Oh my God! It looked like it was coming right at me! has a whole new meaning.

Did you always wonder?

Wiki fun fact of the day:

July 7, 1928 – The Chillicothe Baking Company in Chillicothe, Missouri, US, first produced sliced bread, advertised as "the greatest forward step in the baking industry since bread was wrapped", which then led to the popular phrase "the greatest thing since sliced bread".

Video evidence

Squirrel-Qaeda training camp video. Sure, they look cute and fuzzy, but don't let them fool you. They are training for world domination. And their recruits work for peanuts.




My apologies for the horrible pun. I had to do it.

Trick or Treat

It's time to buy the treats for the little goblins and ghosts (and SpongeBob Squarepants) that will inevitably knock on the door this coming Tuesday evening. Choosing Halloween candy is tricky --pardon the pun-- and must be given due consideration.

• Chocolate, of course is a big winner with the added bonus that any extra may be enjoyed by the giver after the festivities. Not plain chocolate either, but something gooey, like Snickers or $100 Grand bars. 'Fun size' is perfectly acceptable, although we all fondly remember some little old lady who was overly generous and handed out whole FULL SIZED bars in our youth. The down-side is the poor kid who has peanut allergies or braces.
• Another option is fruit-flavored candies like Skittles or Nerds. The hard ones being allowed for metal-covered teeth.
• Unacceptable is any candy that is not properly sealed. Sad to say, in this day and age, non-hermetically-sealed candy is quickly discarded by over-zealous parents upon the return home.
• Completely forbidden is any form of fruit, not only by paranoid moms and dads, but by the diligent trick-or-treaters themselves. Who goes to all the trouble of walking blocks of houses in the dark in an uncomfortable costume, frequently braving bad weather, just to get a freakin apple?
• The oddball category gets some notice here too. I personally loved to get some weird candy that I would never buy for myself at the local Superette.
• Finally, please do not hand out pennies. Only ancient stooped grandfathers do this remembering the days that a handful of pennies was a fortune. Now they won't even get you a piece of Bazooka.

Best treat I've ever witnessed: can of Sprite. Unique, tasty and perfect to wash down the twenty Milky Ways that you munch before bedtime.