New Year's resolutions

I've never made a New Year's resolution before. I really don't see a need to start now. I'm old. I'm set in my ways. Maybe I'll exercise more. Maybe I'll smoke less. Maybe I'll smoke more and exercise less. Let's be honest; you don't care.
And if you made any resolutions this New Year that you plan on beginning at the stroke of midnight tonight, I wish you luck. But I think, like the majority of Americans, you will ultimately fail.
And that's my happy new year's message to you all. (Actually, I might resolve to be more optimistic in 2009.)