January 14, 2010

Disaster relief

An impoverished black nation is devastated by a natural disaster. It was only a matter of time before the mouthpiece Conservative Christians pointed out that they only brought this on themselves.
"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. [might not? perhaps because it's a figment of your fevered imagination?] They were under the heel of the French ... and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. [yes, you read that correctly.] They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. [that's right, the entire nation swore to bow to Beelzebub to get away from the domineering Frenchies and their pretentious pommes frites and escargots.] So the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal. [unless you'd like to trade for what's behind door number 3...]'"
"Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another. [like listening to windbags like me.]"
Asshole.
If you really want to help, keep your prayers and give your money.

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