March 25, 2010

Two Lips

So I have this garden. My Long-Suffering Husband and I work hard at making it pretty all season long.
Just now it's starting to perk up after the seemingly never-ending winter, and the lovely just-starting-to-show leaves of a peony-flowered tulip named Angelique had managed to grow a full three inches above the soil. Just enough to be enticing to the effing deer.
Now I have eight stubby whorls of green that have been neatly shaved off right at ground level. Stupid deer.
After the sorrow and anger of the loss passed, I hopped online for some tips to keep the freeloaders off of my tulips. I discovered:
  1. Apparently deer love tulips. Its one of their favorite foods. (So enticing them with something else, like a pepperoni pizza will not work.)
  2. Unless I want to surround my front yard in 8-foot deer fencing and buy a Doberman, I have some interesting alternatives.
  3. Coyote pee seems to be the top suggestion to deter deer. I guess this works better than actual coyotes. I wonder if, like a dog whistle, this is something only a deer can smell. Or if the neighbors will complain.
  4. Pepper spray, or homemade variations of the same will supposedly diminish the appeal of tulips.
  5. As will grapefruit and/or human hair. I'm not sure how I feel about strewing barbershop leavings over my tulips.
  6. The final suggestion is to plant tulips in the middle of a bunch of daffodils. Not only are daffodils poisonous, but they taste like bum to deer. The deer version of liver and lima beans.

I'm totally gonna run with the daffodil thing in a couple of places, but for effect, there are clumps of tulips that really should stand alone. How does one collect coyote pee?

1 comment: said...

Our dog won't let any deer come near. He barks at them and they stay away.couserm