VOTE!

Today is election day, and while everyone is happy that the ads will finally end, only half of us will be pleased with the result. I hope I'm in the pleased section. But until then, I will leave you with local comedian Mike Polk's take on Mitt:

I just don't like him.

And I honestly don't think anyone does. Even Republicans are just dealing with him because they're stuck with him as their candidate. They treat him like you treat your friend's asshole boyfriend who everyone dislikes and wonders what she sees in him. You wish she didn't bring him to your birthday party but you have to be cordial with him for the sake of your friendship with Kaitlin.

He's a spoiled prick who has never had to struggle. He's totally out of touch and phony. His efforts to connect with common people are cringeworthy.

Mitt Romney is like the rich dad of the bad teen in an 80's movie who tells his son that if he doesn't beat those lower class nerds and win that regatta trophy it would reflect poorly upon the family name.

Mitt Romney seems like he's doing an impression of a black comic doing an impression of a white guy.

Mitt Romney's sons look and act in interviews like the rich kids from your high school who everyone hated but you had to be nice to because they had an awesome pool.

You get it.

He's the complete opposite of the kind of person I would ever want to be around.

And even more interesting, he's definitely not like anyone that a lot of the people who will be voting for him would want to be around. I'm talking white lower/middle class males.

Who are these people living in trailers with Romney signs in their front yards who are so passionate about getting a guy into office who looks at them as if they are walking farts?

This guy isn't even your boss. Your boss is the salt of the earth compared to this guy. This guy is the Boss of your Boss's Boss!

He's the dude who made you work over the weekend to get the shipment out on time while he played golf and smoked a cigar that cost more than all of your living room furniture combined.

I know this isn't integral to anyone's vote. But really, there's nothing more to add in the way of argument, so why not chuckle? The "rich dad of the bad teen in an 80s movie" description is perfect.