RuPaul has a catchphrase on his show Drag Race that he closes out each episode with: "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?" Cute, almost kitchy, but for all that, the words should not be simply dismissed.
How many ordinary people just don't like themselves for no decent reason? They feel they need to be thinner, prettier, funnier, smarter, happier. They feel that others won't like them unless they are these things. They feel that they don't deserve to be valued because of these things.
Saddest, and most frustrating, is that no amount of external validation seems to penetrate.