In a desperate and vain attempt to derail the election, squirrel-Qaeda has tried to prevent true Americans from casting their votes. "According to reports coming to CBS 2, voters going to one polling location in Hammond discovered that that power was out after a squirrel got into a substation, putting over 1,300 customers in the dark. As a result, voters were unable to cast their ballots on the electronic voting machines."
Once again proving squirrels objectively anti-American.
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