Mis-lede-ing:

The headline reads, "Doctors Say Having Sex Is Like Getting $50,000 Raise."
So why am I not richer?
Actually what the doctors said was that "increasing sexual activity to at least once a week adds the happiness equivalent of a $50,000 raise." The happiness equivalent. Bullsh*t. The happiness equivalent of a $50,000 raise is a $50,001 raise.
The doctors also fail to specify if the sexual activity needs to be with your partner. (I imagine my Long Suffering Husband would be $50,000 happier if Jessica Alba was involved in his increased sexual activity.)